A Difficult Blessing

As the saying goes, we run from what we fear. What do I fear? I fear deep feelings. I resist them and run at the first sight of their intensity. Until one day, during my sitting mediation, I was told to move. Go outside into the woods, walk until I reach an open field. I stood at the opening and waited. The field got larger and once it seemed like it ran out of its boundaries, it became clear that the deep feelings lead me to this great open space within me. This connection of the heart and the outside world, "toughened" me. Made my heart my skin. I can no longer limit the depth of what and how I feel. I can no longer resist the great openness all feelings lead me to. It is a difficult blessing.